You're so nebulous sometimes
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my being single is dangerous.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
