I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
