I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
