i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
