"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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