Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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