batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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