I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
