Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
