And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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