There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I puked a lego.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
