That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
