real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
