dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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