whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
