I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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