That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
