Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Someone came in the potted fern
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
