Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
