ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
