Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
