I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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