He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
