remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
