I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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