so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
