I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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