we have officially lost it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
