i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she smelled like a LAN party
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize