I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
