Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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