wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
