I wish you could order shots online.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
