All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
