i permit you to call me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
