i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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