I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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