Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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