This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
