oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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