jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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