At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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