haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize