My first STD was from a foam party
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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