Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
