New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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