He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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