Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
