Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Randomize
