I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
