My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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