Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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