Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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