And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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