I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
