I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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