I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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