she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize